im allie and i know the muffin man
home = ask = links

vinebox:

shouldnt:

Holy shit my Aunt is WASTED

I think your aunt just won life

*boom*

  • mom: what was that?
  • me: my shirt fell
  • mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that...
  • me: i was in it

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

human:

when someone says they dont like me

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seductive-potato:

captainstormwind:

the truth is out there.

the most important thing I have ever reblogged 

geeses:

that doesn’t sound right

titshemsworth:

pachurz:

partyintheusanus:

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAVED RABBIT

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Put a hat on it and ask it to bust myths.

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emanuzguerra:

My friend sent me this video without context

I’m laughing so hard !

shitwine:

Going to bed on the last day of summer vacation

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iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw.